


Stumbles, Struggles, and Serenity

by Anake14



Category: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Betrayal, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotionally Repressed, Family Drama, Family Issues, Feelings, Protective Alec Trevelyan, Q Whump, Q needs a hug, Strained Friendships, so does Alec
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-05-13 02:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14740151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anake14/pseuds/Anake14
Summary: Things don't always go as expected. Sometimes they go exactly as intended. Sometimes things are some heinous mix of the two and trust is a precious thing. But who?Disclaimer: I don't own anything, please leave the poor, broke, and mostly in debt college student alone...





	1. A Light Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dazeventura6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dazeventura6/gifts).



> I don't know where this is going, no there isn't a clear plotline. This started as a Drabble due to a sad Whishy pic on FB and I fully blame V for this. (This is going somewhere, I swear. I'm pretty sure, I just don't know where that is yet.)
> 
> This is UnBeta'd.

Q didn't know how to feel.  
  
Utterly abandoned by any of the so-called friends he had made at MI6, standing trial for a supposed act of treason that he did not commit, yet he could not find it in himself to be anything but hurt. He should feel betrayed, but after what had happened with Bond and Silva he all but figured that betrayal in MI6 would be the norm.  
  
007 perhaps was the most predictable yet inconsistent part of his life and it downright figures his charge of treason would be on account of a 00 who cannot, will not, help him. He looks down as the list of charges is read off, feeling desolate but more than glad that at least Bond would be spared this. He ignores the loneliness that thought gives him, but it isn't as though James had ever given him the time of day other than by flirting regardless. If he is to be judged guilty at least it will be for the sake of someone Q knows will continue fighting for a better future for Queen and country...probably destroying whatever prototypes of Q's there are in the process thanks to the fact that if something happens to him, James will receive everything by default.  
  
"Quartermaster, are you even paying attention to the charges read?"  
  
"I don't need to, I'm well aware of what I'm accused of and that any evidence is likely to be both substantial and circumstantial at best with no one able to validate one way or another," Q can't help but snark. He shouldn't, he knows, but really this whole thing screams ploy in yet another villainous plot meant to draw on perceived weaknesses of MI6.  
  
"Do you even care that you freedom and life hang in the balance of this case due to the extremity in the charge of treason?"  
  
"Whether I am aware or not is irrelevant, is it not? It will happen and I can do nothing but watch and see where this trial goes, much like everyone else in this room."  
  
He receives more than one dirty look, but he can't find it in him to care in the least. He is alone and, in the back of his mind, there is a memory of his mother. Her last words:   
  
"You won't understand this now, but we are born alone, we live alone, and we all die alone. It's the people who make life worth living, and you are the moon. You reflect the light of others, take something good and make it better. You could be the sun, but you choose to be as you are and I love you for that."  
  
He is ready. He can face this trial, with or without friends, and whatever outcome there shall come, on his head it will be and his alone.


	2. Waiting Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Trial continues...

Q didn't pay attention at all. He didn't know if hours had passed or merely minutes. Whatever the time frame, he would not be answering any questions, all of his work heavily classified and redacted meant that not a single individual in the room has the clearance.  
  
"Q, do you have any intention of cooperating?" the judge finally asked.  
  
It makes Q focus for the first time, a sneer crossing his face. "Are you aware that you are also asking me to commit treason? Under the confidentiality clause of my contract I am under a gag order not to reveal any details of past or current assignments due to the classified nature of my work, as it could put not only Queen and country at risk, but the lives of others. Therefore, no, I haven't any intention of answering questions. I may be the 'easiest' target so to speak, but I am far from the weak link in our government."  
  
They don't realize that it's another advantage. When MI6 recruits orphans they ensure all connections may be made in house and should something happen they can mourn and move on knowing that it would be likewise should it happen to any of them. It's probably not the least bit psychologically healthy, but from that stand point it also is the expected standpoint for any asset that they may lose their life in the service.  
  
The judge shares a look with the others, more than one face far from happy with that response. "Take him. We must discuss this amongst ourselves."  
  
Q knows they're putting him in a hole where they can forget about him. It's exactly what he expects. They want him to lose track of time, to forget himself, to fall prey to his own mind until he drives himself crazy and is barely functional. They don't know it but he's been there before.   
  
M had found him then. Saving him from the brink, giving him something he could use, driving himself and working himself until she had finally made a point that he had purpose and she would use that, use him to make the organization better. He doesn't know if he can come back again if he reaches that point, but he knows that once he loses track of time again and gets lost in an equation it might be the last.  
  
It's a waiting game and he's all alone in it.


	3. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moneypenny notices things are amiss.

Eve was the first to notice Q missing. More often than not the boffin would lose himself in work for days on end, either in the office, running ops, or in his 'private' R&D lab. On the third day of not seeing him, she asked the minions who looked around questioning, before bringing the matter to R.

R stared blankly having just come off a four day hell mission dealing with 005. "I haven't seen him. Not since he left two days ago assuring me he would be back in time to run 006's mission because, as he put it, someone has to tell him that his best friend all but resigned from the service."

"I haven't seen him either," Alec says, appearing behind Moneypenny. "Tanner told me to come down and get my kit, Q wants to talk to me before I leave, and that I'd be off on a new mission."

Moneypenny couldn't help the stream of curses she let out in various languages. "He never misses appointments and no matter what time he leaves he's usually back here for the next shift working and staying late. Alert M and Tanner. Something is going on and we need to find out where our Quartermaster is."

"Should I call James?"

Moneypenny snorts. "If you can pull him away from the bitch he took off with that is trying to change him or get him to pick up, go for it, but I wouldn't hold out hope. Hell, I don't even know if telling him that Q is missing is enough."

Before Alec can reply Moneypenny takes off to see if she can arrange an interdepartmental meeting and let them know that R will be taking over for Q for the foreseeable future until they find their Quartermaster.


	4. Turmoil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is confused and upset.

Alec wasn't sure what misconception Moneypenny had, but he was certain that if James was to be made aware that Q is missing he would immediately begin tearing apart London. Unlike common belief, James Bond has a heart and it's been conquered by the scrawny boffin overlord that had taken over Q-branch by a storm, so there is very little the man wouldn't do for the Quartermaster who trusted Bond's instincts enough to break and bend more than a few rules for him. 

Without noticing, R's approach until she put her hand on his arm she stared up at him. "I don't know what you know Alec, but Q cares a great deal for James Bond. He was barely able to hold himself together after giving James the car that he had painstakingly rebuilt. Don't call him unless you're sure it's the right thing to do for both him and Q. I don't think Q can take another blow, or at least not another round of James leaving him again, and we have no idea what state we'll even find him in." 

The car. The mere mention of the car makes Alec realize why Q wanted to be the one to tell him, why everyone else is so certain James is gone for good. Q gave James the car. 

"R," Alec calls out after her, causing he to pause at the doorway to the break room where she intended to nap for at least two hours before she too got to work searching for Q and probably reassigning Alec to the task.

"006?"

"How did he react?"

She felt conflicted, both wanting to sigh in exasperation and snarl angrily at the remembered video camera feed she caught Q watching over and over looking for some hint that Bond would be back with that heartbreaking emptiness in his eyes as he smiled and told her he just wanted to make sure their best agent was properly outfitted. In the end she does neither and tiredly states, "He caught the keys Q tossed at him, turned around, and left without a single look back. If you are asking how Q reacted...as well as one could hope. Professional, aloof, but looking a bit heartbroken."

Having said her piece she walked out and Alec remained staring after her. That isn't the James he knows, but then again, he rarely knew James to leave without bothering to contact him. It seems James abandoned all that he loved this time. Queen, country, Alec, and Q.

When he finds Q, Alec swears he won't leave the boffin alone. He'll take care of Q and maybe Q will be willing to put up with Alec, because without James, Alec felt alone and adrift, lost out in the deep sea with no shore in sight.


	5. Concerns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Administrative negligence.

Unaware of the turmoil she left Alec in, Eve quickly sought out Tanner and M, pulling them both from a meeting where they were discussing things with other department heads and various other government branches.  
  
"Miss Moneypenny?" Tanner's questioning manner benign, knowing full well that Mallory's fierce secretary would hardly have pulled them out for a minor issue.  
  
"Q is missing. I haven't seen him in three days, R hasn't seen him since he went home two days ago. I set Q branch on retracing his steps and trying to track him down, but Q is never gone from his branch for this long and as absentminded as he can be he's always there for his scheduled meetings with 00s," Moneypenny states softly. There are cameras, fortunately they aren't one that record sound as well, but a decent lip reader would be able to make out what she is saying if she wasn't so careful about the angle. "He is supposed to be outfitting 006 and talking with him about 007, but as it is, 006 hasn't seen him either and I called security, he hasn't checked back in since after R saw him leave."  
  
"006? Is he even aware Bond is..."  
  
Moneypenny is shaking her head before Tanner can finish the statement. "He is now, but prior to that? Not a clue. I want to feel bad, but Q has been in a right state and honestly I don't have time to be delicate with a 00s feelings when Q is /missing/ and no one seems to have any idea of where or why he's gone. Most people will probably assume he's helping Bond with something off the books but I have a bad feeling. He wouldn't have left without telling at least Tanner or myself."  
  
M nods his agreement. "Q has a strong sense of responsibility. If he intended to leave his branch, he would have told R she would need to be in charge while he was away and would have ensured there would be some awareness of his absence through the chain of command."  
  
"Yes, well, unfortunately it was my hope that one of you two had sent him off somewhere, but since you don't know, I don't know, and R doesn't know, it begs the question, where is Q and who has him? I highly doubt he's with Bond, even if 007 would go against protocols, he wouldn't put Q in the position where he could be charged with negligence of duty," Moneypenny admits with a grimace.   
  
It makes all of them exchange looks of distaste. The government has been keeping them all busy, what if the department just needs them out of the way in order to snatch the Quartermaster for some nefarious purpose? The thought of having Q's mind turned against them makes them shudder in horror.   
  
Q has been missing for days already and it's worrying because they don't know how long he'll be able to hold out...against his captors or himself.


	6. Dyschronometria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time distortions.
> 
> (Yes, it's actually a thing, and would probably explain a lot about the Quartermaster. Assuming this is a thing that happens to him frequently. It might be. Who knows. (I really don't) We'll see where this story goes.)

Q has long since determined that time is irrelevant, especially when he can distract himself with work or get lost in coding. In MI6 it became even easier; coding, hacking, tinkering at will and hardly any of them would fault him for losing track of time considering most of them are workaholics as well.   
  
The guards have put him in an isolation chamber and it is every bit like Q expected. Cold, unwelcoming, detached...maddening. He misses his cats. Idly, he can't help but wonder if anyone from MI6 has caught on yet.   
  
Have they looked in on him?  
  
Did one of the people who took him take the time to clean things enough that it doesn't look like there was a struggle?  
  
Who's taking care of his cats?  
  
...Or maybe someone from MI6 will adopt them if they realize Q is gone and possibly never coming back.   
  
Q can't help but contemplate what MI6 will do once they realize he's essentially AWOL.  
  
Will they look for him or write him off as a traitor?  
  
Will they send a 00 or will they organize search teams?  
  
How will they be alerted? Will they notice he hasn't kept to his chaotic pattern or will someone show up looking for him and notice solely because he isn't there to keep the appointment?  
  
For a brief moment, he hopes 007 is the reason. That he would break in and find things amiss. The hope flickers and dies with the memory of him taking the car and leaving.   
  
Q tilts his head and thinks about his 'relationship' with 007. It hasn't been what he expected, or rather it's exactly what he expected and not quite as unpredictable as M had made it seem. Once he had figured out that James Bond thrives in chaos and lives not only for the moment but by trusting his instincts it was easy for him to adjust and become the Quartermaster that 007 could trust. At least enough to ask him for help when he goes off on unscripted, unsanctioned missions.  
  
Thinking about 007 makes him think of 006. Alec Trevelyan, is not the same type of chaotic predictability that James Bond is, but it's close enough that Q can't help but shake his head in understanding for how the two forces of nature collided and worked well together.   
  
Alec...Alec who still doesn't know about James leaving. Q thinks that James having left will be devastating for Alec.  
  
Q blinks and looks around. He has no idea how much time has passed and it makes him laugh a bit hysterically. It's been less than three days in total and he's already losing it. He doesn't know how any of this will end, but he hopes it ends soon.


	7. Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MI6 gets a clue. It's really not one they like.

Days pass quickly in MI6 and soon enough a week has gone by. A week of business as usual, helping agents infiltrate terrorist organizations that wait for no one, working on projects that were assigned by Q, and keeping things as close to normal as best they can without him. A week in which during every spare moment extra shifts have been voluntarily taken to locate Q.  
  
"You can all stop looking."  
  
It's a tired and weary, Mallory who spoke from the doorway where every disgruntled and upset gaze is turned at the thought he might dare to force them to give up on Q.  
  
"I've been calling around and discussing politics with some old acquaintances," Mallory says, his tone a projected calm in contrast to the look of absolute fury and the man's distaste to what had been done to one of his finest. "Q is being held by the government, all hush, hush, to the point they didn't even want MI6 to know and MI5 isn't talking. Apparently someone had a notion that Q should be charged with treason, citing both the Skyfall incident and details regarding the Nine Eyes program."  
  
It's a startling concept. How could anyone claim treason in regards to Q? Q who may have started in a bit over confident but easily learned and made progress towards fixing his mistakes. Q who protected England and the world from the chaos that Nine Eyes would truly have unleashed and the very notion of treason where those with access could easily have sold any information on any country to the highest bidder had Nine Eyes come to pass.  
  
It's absurdity.  
  
"I'm getting him."  
  
"006, I cannot authorize that."  
  
"I damn well don't give a fuck, Mallory. Q is more than a letter, has done more for this country than any judge or jury will ever know, he's innocent of treason, and I can damn well bet that whatever inside job this is, they haven't bothered to call anyone directly involved in the incident to stand witness either for or against him. Whatever farce of a trial is going on, is fucking wrong," Alec growls.  
  
"How would you know that Alec? They could have called on civilians, even Bond, there's any number of people that they can use. I cannot authorize a break out of a man considered to be the largest threat to our country in the event of terrorism. I'm making a judgment call until I can sort things out."  
  
Alec's eyes are a storm of distaste, vengeance, and crazed anger. He knows this form of betrayal. He's well aware that it could be any one of them and the government would leave them to fucking rot. He's a weapon without an outlet right now. He can't even call James because the man fucked off to who knows where. He stalks out of the room and slams the door behind him as he heads out. He needs to calm down before he can even think about rescuing Q, because Q will need him thinking straight and heaven help those holding him if Q needs assistance.  
  
Eve and R stare at Mallory. Eve lets her eyes travel between the door where Alec left and Mallory with a frown crossing her lips as she thinks about the hell her best friend is probably in. R stares wide-eyed and upset with the situation in it's entirety. Yes, Q left behind instructions and things to help her for if he is ever gone for extended time frames including tips and assistance in dealing with agents and such, but she is nowhere near ready to take over the department.  
  
"Just do the best you can R, you're dismissed," Mallory says, letting the woman leave before he turns to Eve weary from the non-argument he just had with his subordinates.   
  
"You were ordered to stand down, weren't you?" Eve says with a nod of her head, not bothering to let Mallory answer. "It's one order you shouldn't follow and you fucking know it, sir."  
  
She too leaves the room, her heels clicking ominously. Things are not okay in MI6. They hadn't been since Bond left and they'd all been stuck cleaning up his fucking mess.


	8. Small Rebellions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MI6 has strong opinions. (They really don't give a fuck about orders.)

Alec is not where Eve expects to find him.  
  
Alec is not at a bar or a club. He is not at a strip place. He isn't out looking for a fight or in the gym destroying equipment.   
  
Alec turns out to be in Q-branch playing with Q's hellion cat minions that had quickly claimed the territory once they were brought in so they could be cared for while Q is missing.   
  
"Alec?"  
  
"Eve," he greets, a bit stand-offish, but their relationship has always been rather lukewarm and it certainly didn't help matters that she had shot James off a moving train and 'killed' him for a time.   
  
"Dare I ask?"  
  
Alec gave her a glare and grunts. Well. That was very nonspecific.  
  
"R?"  
  
"Yes, Eve?"  
  
"That kit ready yet?"  
  
"It's all here."  
  
"Good. Here Alec."  
  
Alec tilts his head and looks at her, continuing to pet the cats that are rubbing all over him for attention.  
  
"It's your kit for getting Q."  
  
His eyes narrow but he continues to remain silent. Only James had ever called him out on actions that he intended to follow through with against orders or protocol. Hell, half the time James was right there with him. Not this one.  
  
Not this one and this would be the one that would matter the most. The Quartermaster needs them. Him. Fuck. Alec sighs. He really needs better friends.  
  
With a grunt of acknowledgement he takes the kit from Eve's hands, places it beside him, and keeps petting the cats.   
  
Eve looks at R, who shrugs and goes back to work. Sighing, Eve leaves Alec to his thoughts.  
  
Finally. It's a mental sigh, but the truth nonetheless, Alec has more than enough to think of, half of which involves James and the other half concerns for Q.  
  
He doesn't know what the better option is when it comes to James and Q. Not telling James about what is happening feels like a betrayal of their friendship, not just because he knows James has feelings for Q, but because this is something important and it might be James' fault. On the other hand he has no idea where James is or how to contact him.   
  
The other option is finding James and telling him everything. Risking that James might reject their friendship and Q. Risking that James just might not care, won't help, because this isn't his life anymore. Fuck if that thought doesn't hurt. It would mean James left him behind.  
  
A purr interrupts that line of thought, one of the cats nudging Alec and rubbing it's head at the underside of Alec's chin as he lays back on the floor in Q-branch. Regardless of what happens he is going to go after Q and stay hidden at one of his and James' safe houses off the grid until it's safe.  
  
"All right, all right little one, I'm going to go get him. You just have to wait here for a little while longer," Alec chuckles, nudging the cat off of him as he heads out. Right now all he can hope is that he's in time to save Q from himself.


	9. Familiarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has unresolved issues with places like this and familiarity with them definitely bred contempt.

Getting in was easy. Alec knew places like this, they were the same with any government. Of course, getting in is always the easy part. Getting out is usually what the explosives and generous use of ammunition is for that gets both him and James yelled at because, "You really aren't supposed to blow up embassies" and "The point of being a spy is using discretion so that other governments don't know ours was involved" but of course, try to speak a word about blown covers and heaven forbid it wasn't your own bloody fault for not being careful enough...  
  
With a shake of his head he quietly maneuvers his way through the building to the general area where R and her team of boffins think Q is being kept. It takes five doors before he finds the correct one, and the sight that greets him makes him flinch.  
  
Q is a type of sickly pale that contrasts the usually healthy complexion he has and he is lying on what looks to be some sort of cot, his fingers twitching in agitation. Alec can't tell if Q is aware of him at all or if he's lost in his own mind, but fuck if he's going to leave him here.   
  
With an ease from years of practice in dealing with James and other 00s, Alec picks Q up and holds him close to his body, it's obvious Q is cold and at this point possibly has a pneumonia from being left in the cold. Alec thinks that maybe that is the point. Q isn't meant to come back from this. He is meant to die here, alone in a cell, forgotten by the government and country he serves, believing no one cares and that he has been betrayed and abandoned by friends.   
  
Alec bites back the urge to growl at the thought. Q would stay on the line with a 00. If he thought they might not make it back he wouldn't leave a single agent to die alone, he'd be on the line until the last bleeding second trying to help find them a way out. It isn't enough, but he puts Q down just long enough to take off the coat and put it on Q before deciding a swift and unnoticed exit is going to be needed. He has five minutes until R can make that possible according to the note written in Morse Code...it's a random line of thought that he shakes off, he'd really have to talk to the boffin's about that later. Maybe they aren't being kept busy enough?  
  
The thing is, Q can't move, but he can vaguely feel things through the haze that has overcome his mind. It's difficult to know how much time has passed, his captors giving him food and water sporadically has not helped with his sense of time in the least.  
  
The sudden warmth is new, but the smell and aura of the person with him is familiar. He's either finally dying or someone is helping get him out. Q isn't sure which he'd rather at this point, he's just so damn tired.


	10. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot. Kind of. More of Q's Trial.

Q thought the trial was a farce. It seemed like that from the beginning. He was biding every moment waiting for MI6 to realize he hasn't been there and things are amiss. He honestly held hope that they would come for him. Until he saw her.

Taking the stand at his trial, being sworn in, is Madeleine Swann. 

Q feels his heart hammer, his hopes plummet, because her standing trail for the government means she believes he's a traitor. Worse.  _James_ believes that and James Bond has never done anything less than put Queen and Country above all else in his life. James won't come to save him. If James, Bond...007 (what do you call a man you thought you were friends with?) believes he's a traitor then he'd sooner put the bullet between Q's eyes himself.

"Tell us what you witnessed and your part in this whole situation."

She does. She spills the whole long dirty back story about how her father was part of a network, how she cut him out of her life and moved on to live her own as a Psychologist, and she talks about an agent who saved her life and discovered that there was a play for the government being made from within. Every word becomes more and more incriminating. Nine Eyes meant to help track targets and eliminate persons of interest so others with political views more aligned with the criminal organization could take roles higher in the government.

She talks and talks, about a cyber threat, and her role towards the end. How there were two groups, but she makes it sound like everyone was around when Max Denbigh, the one responsible for Nine Eyes and the MI5 merge that Q prevented his branch from immersing into, fell to his death.

The more she talks, the more Q can't breathe. He's taking gasping, shuddering breaths. The room is spinning and he must have stopped breathing, because someone is there telling him to  _breath_  and he just  _can't_. He's panicking.

He's panicking and he's  _alone_. James won't come to save him or defend him. James is in love with Madeleine. 

_James._

Q is alone. 

His mother was right. Born alone, live alone, die alone. It's the only constant.

He gives up and lets himself fall into the sweet call of darkness.

Time doesn't matter anymore. If it ever did.


	11. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is upset, Q is out of it, and safety is a relative term.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started school again. College classes. What was I thinking taking two math classes? (Not Geometry and Trig, but Geometry and Stats...) I'm also sick. Very sick according to the doctor who scolded me for not going in sooner. I'm on medications. (I'm supposed to swallow pills but...well, I can't. I can adult in other ways but not that. Dissolving in drinks is disgusting...)
> 
> Rant over. Please continue to read the drabble. ^^

By the time Alec made it to the car with Q he was more than a little upset. He wished his mission was killing these bastards, home soil or not.

Q was curled into him and extremely still. The stillness is what Alec would peg as the most distressing thing, if not for the fact that Q's breathing is labored and the poor boffin looks like he's eaten even less than his normal fare.

The stillness is disturbing regardless. Q is a man frequently in motion, constantly moving, thinking, engineering, running his branch, going between responsibilities...it makes the stillness unnatural. Alec can feel his jaw clench as he starts the car and drives away from the building. It's unsatisfying. Q deserves his best, but he can't even dish out a proper punishment to the ones who did this. 

It's frustrating. 

It's  _infuriating._

The drive to the safe house that Alec and James had set up for themselves in an area where MI6 would be unable to find them should have been calming. 

It just made Alec angrier, because in some way all the things Q is going through could be traced back to James. Q risked his career for James, and the other 00s but James more than most, more than once and the man wasn't even around to deal with the fall out. 

This safe house is also the only place both James and Alec had really claimed. It's practically the one place that has pieces of them and can be seen as a type of home. The thing is that this time James won't be there. This time, James had wandered off without him. James might never come home this time...and he hadn't even thought to tell Alec himself.

James, James, James...it's always James. For Alec, James was the epitome of loyalty, a good friend, someone he could trust to have his back, and a man more than capable of keeping his word. For Q, James is a good man, one who is a little broken but loyal, fighting for what he believes is right and his own place in the world, and a man who sometimes needs a little direction.

It makes no sense.

None of what is happening makes any kind of sense.

Why?

For what purpose would anyone have to remove Q from MI6?

What could they gain by destroying his credibility?

R and Q always ensured their work could be made completely confidential. Should anything happen to either of them, there are plenty of pass codes and fail safes to be used that would prevent anyone from gaining control of MI6. 

Q's whimper cuts off Alec's growl of frustration.

"You'll be safe soon, Q," Alec mumbles, turning up the heater in the car. It doesn't feel like enough. Helping Q, getting him out, turning up the heat...none of it compares to the lengths Q would go to support an agent.

Q murmurs something under his breath, but Alec doesn't quite catch it as he pulls up to the curb. The neighborhood looks out of place when contrasted with the high class living most people assume the agents choose to live while off the clock as well.

He gets out of the car and goes to Q's side, easing the door open and leaning down to coax the other man back into his arms. It's easy enough to maneuver him and only takes a bit of juggling to pull out the keys as he finally reaches the door to the flat.

"Alec?"

James' voice startles him.

With a glare, he signals for James to wait, carrying Q over to his room and leaving the poor sleeping boffin to sleep in the comforts of Alec's bed. It's not like he hasn't returned in worse condition to just drop off in the bed. 

He closes the door behind him and returns to the common living area where James was still standing, staring at where Alec had just left Q.

"Alec, what...?"

Before he could finish the question, Alec snaps, lashing out and punching James straight across the jaw.

"Do you ever think, James, that maybe those of us you leave behind deserve a bit more consideration than being a convenience to you?" Alec throws out at him before going to the kitchen. He needs a drink. More than one. The difference is that he also knows that Q will need him. He doesn't have the luxury.


	12. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where has James been?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...my life has been a bit of a mess. On top of work (where I've accidentally hurt my hand), I had some school issues to sort through (am still sorting through). If anyone wants to know why I haven't written, the answer would be work and school. I leave for work around 6:30 AM get home around 4 PM and then leave for school around 5 or 6 during the week, from Monday to Thursday, where I stay until after 10 PM. This is even after I switched classes to a later time because if I stayed in Geometry and Stats I would never make it to the campus by 5 PM, so I'm in Trig and Stats. (Other school issues are being dealt with slowly, but progress is being made.) On weekends I work regular hours and have volunteer work. This past weekend I also had a bit of a fall and have been medicated (again, but not for illness). I pulled the muscles in the right side of my body and twisted both knees and ankles because I fell at an angle and landed badly. I'm okay, but healing is looking to be a long process.

James rubs his jaw, the sting from Alec's punch not quite fading. The truth is, he gives a lot of thought to those that he trusts. Maybe not as much as he should, but then again, he's never really known how to express that anyway. 

Perhaps, he thinks, that is my tragedy. James is more than aware that he associates love with death, guilt, and maybe even a bit of resentment, but never had it been thrown in his face as clearly as watching Alec carry in a clearly comatose Q who was barely, if at all, aware. Never had the consequences of his actions been thrown in his face as clearly as having Alec punch him, because Alec made it very clear that James is somehow at fault for Q's condition. 

It wasn't like James had left for good. He had merely needed something to use to make sure Madeleine would get out safely and to somewhere she felt comfortable restarting her life. It had been the least James could do for her, though maybe he could have made that a bit clearer when leaving MI6 that day Q gave him the car. He had needed to see that through to the end and take a little downtime to think on his past, about the things Blofeld had said, about how the whole conspiracy was just the get to  _him_. Maybe he should have told Q at the very least, considering all that the man had done for him.  Regardless of those choices, however small they seem to be to James, it was clear that they were of much more consequence to the others and he didn't understand how things had gotten so out of hand so quickly.

Q is trustworthy. Loyal to a fault, willing to give the benefit of doubt, allowing agents some freedom in handling of missions and following their instincts in ways Boothroyd and Mansfield did not, Q is exactly the kind of person needed in MI6 at any given time. Those are the things that are clear  to James, yet somewhere, somehow, lines of communication seem to have crossed and missed.

James can hear Alec in the kitchen, it's obvious that James isn't the only one to feel like he needs a drink, but looking at Q in Alec's bed, the small, huddled figure that is shivering and clearly looking more ragged than James had ever seen him...it's unbearable. 

Looking at Q makes James question everything the two have been through. Just what has Q gone through and for what?

"Looking at him won't change anything," Alec grunts, making James look up at him and see dissatisfaction practically written on Alec's face.

"It won't," James agrees.

Alec sighs. "C'mon James, let's go talk somewhere the boffin won't hear us...if he can hear us."

James nods, as Alec closes the door and they walk back to the common living area. 

Talking won't fix everything, but communicating is supposed to help. Idly, James wonders what the psych department of MI6 would do if they'd ever heard he had a 'rational thought' by their standards. It's a thought that almost makes him laugh, but the situation was much too dire for that and he has the feeling he's definitely not going to like what Alec has to say. Not if the state of Q is anything to go by.


	13. Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unknown reasons and plotting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really supposed to be doing homework and studying for Finals...but I've been spammed with ideas so a couple of chapters to different stories are being written between each chapter of homework I complete. Also...I had to. I'm only kind of sorry there's not a Bond character in this chapter. I have reasons! *hides*

He was positive that there had to be a reason. 

 

There  _had_ to be...and yet he couldn't think of one.

 

"What have you done?" he asks, horrified to some extent. He knows there are limits, that even the British Government and the laws of the United Kingdom needed legitimate reason to charge someone as they had the MI6 Quartermaster.

 

"I did what I had to, no more nor less. That you are here seems to be an added bonus."

 

"He's  _your_ ,  _our_ , brother."

 

"Our brother is dead, Sherlock, I'm quite sure you remember the funeral."

 

"Blackmail, Mycroft? Imprisonment? What will Mummy say?"

 

"Mummy was heartbroken when he  _died_. I see no reason to change his status in her eyes. He seems to have gotten what he wanted."

 

Sherlock shakes his head in disbelief. "There was a time you wanted nothing more than his safety."

 

Mycroft huffs. "I wanted that for you as well, but you both seem so intent on defying me, I see no reason you both shouldn't suffer the consequences of your own choices."

 

"He won't come back, Mycroft. You have no idea what you've done," Sherlock taunts, looking over his shoulder as he stalks off to speak with John. Things are not okay in the Holmes family, Eurus was proof enough, but Q would have had more reasons than just to leave Mycroft's overbearing attitude and control. This case would be personal, but Sherlock feels compelled to find out why and what happened. After all, his last memories of Q were of his brother struggling with his mind and senses.


End file.
